My 3rd weigh in!

I dreaded this weigh in because for the past two nights I had wine. lol Silly me. It's the only booze I have had since I started but I have had a bad week and red wine is good for you...right?

I was completely shocked to see the scale this week.

WOW!!! 3.2 pounds gone. See you. Bye Bye!

A grand total of 7.2 pounds lost! See ya sucker!

I can totally see a difference in my body too!!!

The best part of it all, I feel AWESOME! I have so much more confidence. I feel like my clothes fit my better and I have been wearing tighter shirts.

I can't wait for summer now. By then I will have a rocking body & amazing confidence. I'll want to go to the beach every week and out on the boat. Once I get to where I want to go, I am totally rewarding myself with a new swim suit. Victoria's Secret has one I really want and it WILL be mine!

Coffee Talk - The Skinny Fat Girl or The Fat Skinny Girl

Apparently you should only blog about getting "Skinny/Healthy" whatever if you are super overweight. Yup. I was told my blog wasn't good enough. That I am seeking attention because I am "super skinny". Here we go again. I guess because I am not 200, 100 or even 50 pounds overweight I am not good enough to have a blog about getting healthy. *eye roll*

I never called myself fat. I mean, not being serious at least. I know I am not fat, but I am not where I used to be or where I want to be. I have a little bit of pudge. I don't a flat tummy. What is wrong with wanting that? What is wrong with getting healthy? What is wrong with living a healthy lifestyle and sharing my journey with whoever wants to read it?

NOTHING! NOTHING AT ALL!!

So to all you hates, you can suck it. You may be happy with MY body but I am not. Yes, this is MY body. MINE! M.I.N.E. Mine! It doesn't matter at all if you are happy with it because it isn't yours. It's mine. I want my old body. A body I felt comfortable in. A body I liked. I wasn't underweight. I wasn't starving myself. I was healthier than I am now. It's a place I am working to get too. I am not starving myself to get there. I am eating healthy. I am exercising. Nothing wrong with that.

I don't understand why anyone really cares about how I choose to live my life. Why have a blog you may ask? I am blogging about it because I like it. I have friends who are doing the same thing. I feel like I blog and am being held accountable. I am getting great words of wisdom from my friends and hoping to do the same for my friends. I am getting great healthy recipes and honestly...a place to vent if I need it. I mean, I hate working out. My husband knows it & I am pretty sure he doesn't want to hear it anymore. I don't blame him. Here I am bitch & complain all I want. If you don't want to hear it you can easily click the X. If you understand how I feel, great. I also love you too. ;)

Tomorrow is my 3rd weigh in. Not looking forward to it. I have been so busy and even thought I have been eating pretty healthy I did have wine last night. It was a rough day & by the end of the day I need a small glass...or two big ones. But whatever. A little progress or big progress that is all that matters. I am moving in the right direction whether or not the haters like it. ;)

The 2nd Weigh In!

It is officially week two and the new weigh in. I didn't feel as good as I did the week before. It was so busy & my workouts were cut short. I was bummed about it but, at least I am working out. I have to keep positive. I didn't get to workout this morning because I was working. A cute little newborn girl. I only came home wanting to get fat...well...pregnant. Those shoots always give me crazy baby fever. But, for now, no babies for me. That decision will be made later.

When I hoped on the scale I wasn't expecting a big change. Last week I was at 127.2. Today I stepped on and.............

125.8! 1.4 pounds in the last week. CRAZY BUSINESS! I was expecting MAYBE half a pound not OVER a pound. I am pretty happy about that.

I don't see that big of a change body wise from last week though. Kind of a bummer but it's only been 2 weeks. I can't expect my body to change overnight.

I am happy though despite not seeing much results in my body. It happens. I am feel so much better about food though. I went to Target today to grab a few things. Normally when I have to get food there I hate every single second of it. This time however was completely different. I went in, grabbed my stuff and before I knew it I was checking out without any personal drama...even with two kids who should have been resting. It was an all around success!

Last night we went out with friends. We went to one of my favorite bars. Bulldog. I normally drink and eat super bad for you food. I didn't do either. No booze and a semi healthy sandwich with no tater tots. Seriously wanted them though but not enough that I would cheat. I keep telling myself that I am doing so well. Why would I want to go backwards by eating crappy food and drinking? I know that I will. A week from Sunday Kyle & I are doing to the Mad Men Premier Party and I plan to have a few drinks. I am not going to go crazy or anything but a few drinks isn't going to kill me. I will just workout really hard that morning. lol

So 2 weeks in and 4 pounds down. Yay! So excited to see what the results will be in 2 more weeks!

Coffee Talk - Food Food Food and a little bit of exercise

I am almost 2 weeks into this change and I am finally getting the hang of food. It freaked me out when I first started. Not as much for at home, but when we go out to eat. I mentioned it in my last post about. I was so scared to eat in the real world but I am really getting the hang out of it.

Yesterday it was just Kegan & I since Karie went to my moms house. He really wanted to go out to eat with Kyle for lunch. We said okay & we let him pick. He wanted to go to Red Robin. When I think Red Robin I think delish hamburgers that are a bijilllon calories. I wasn't scared. I decided to take this challenge head on. I mean, I can't live my life without going out to eat. It happens. I also can't force people to go to places that serve only healthy stuff. I need to roll with the punches.

I opened my menu & busted out my phone. What I normally eat there was 1,692 calories. FOR ONE MEAL. Um no. I knew going in my regular meal wasn't something I was going to eat. I found that they have a Grilled Turkey Burger. Then I noticed that instead of the bun you can get it wrapped in lettuce. Awesome. I also decided not to order fries and get broccoli. I nabbed a fry from Kegan & was happy with my veggies since I love them anyways. My meal went from 1,692 to 386. WOW! What a HUGE change!! Now you are thinking. Was it any good? Yes, it was. Besides it being a little spicy for my taste it was decent. The broccoli was delish but that is almost impossible to mess up.

Today my Mother in Law came with me to Kegan's school to help out & read a book. After we decided to go to lunch with the kiddos. We went to Matthew's. If you aren't from the area you have no idea what that place is. It's a local family owned restaurant that my kids love. They always want to eat there. Normally what I eat there is actually healthy. I get the BLT wrap. Yum. Just talking about it makes me want another one. Dinner idea maybe? Anyways my BLT wrap is only 360. Seriously. How easy! I don't eat the chips that come with it & always order water. I was thrilled about this!

So eating in the real world isn't so bad but I like eating at home better. I love the convenience of eating out but I know 100% what I am putting in my body at home. So yay food and not being so scared of it!

Working out is going well too. I didn't get to workout over the weekend. I had a wedding all day on Saturday. I don't know how many calories a wedding burns yet but I know it's a lot. I have been looking at heart rate monitors for the past week and HOPEFULLY going to buy one this week. I haven't had a chance to go look at them in the store but I am hoping on Thursday or Friday I can make my way out to look and hopefully buy one. Sunday I had a photoshoot & Sunday is my normal day off from working out but doing a shoot is a workout. Lots of walking around. Lots of ups and downs. I am so not complaining. I love my job and I love that it is a workout.

I am getting better with my running too. I still hate it. I was told that it takes a month of running before it is tolerable. Ew. I have a few more weeks to go I guess. But like I said I am getting better at running. Every day I go I shave time off my mile. It's pretty awesome. I love seeing that. I want to die after still but I know if I don't push myself there is no point. Right?

I am curious to see what Thursday brings with my progress. If anything, I am FEELING better about myself and that is the most important thing!

Eating in the Real World!

I never paid attention to calories or serving sizes. I just ate because food is delish and I ate the delish food until I was full. I never cared before. "Why should I?" I always thought. I was young and dumb. Apparently ignorance is bliss when you are young. As an adult? Not so much.

Last night Kyle & I went out on a date. A super spontaneous date. We didn't even know where we were going until we dropped the kids off with his parents. His dad gave us a coupon to PF Changs so we decided to go there. Now, I used to eat there quite often. I'd do happy hours there and dinners there with the husband. I love that place. I used to eat lettuces wraps to start and then move to Changs Spicy Chicken for the main course. Of course having a few Blue Moons while we were at it. Without counting desert I would normally eat around 2,000 calories at just that one meal. Seeing that makes me want to puke. Eww. 2,000 calories in ONE MEAL?! What was I thinking? Or not thinking.

I stared at my phone and the nutritional chart. I couldn't believe it. I was in shock. Then I got all freaked out. How do people eat in the real world?! Would I be stuck eating at home forever?! FOR-EV-ERRR!

I sat there looking freaked out just staring. Trying to wrap my brain around how much I used to eat. How I DIDN'T think I was doing THAT much wrong. I just felt gross.


This was a HUGE wake up call for me. I really need to pay attention to my serving sizes. ESPECIALLY when I go out to eat.

So this time. I did it different. We ordered Lettuces Warps but I only ate one (half a serving). For my main dish, I ordered Spicy Changs Chicken and only ate half (1 and a half servings). My total calorie count was 565. Not too bad. I didn't order any dessert and stuck with water.

I can't lie though, I felt kind of guilty when we left. I kind of felt like I cheated. I have been eating so healthy & do everything right and then I eat this! Urgh. What was I thinking?! It was stupid. Looking back now I just want to kick myself. Really? Am I getting all mad over some damn food? Am I really getting pissed that I ate something that wasn't SUPER healthy even though I was still under my sodium intake for the day, on track with my calories and ate healthy that whole day. I worked out. I had no reason to feel so guilty.

Food is so strange. It's so tasty and you just want to stuff your face but it seems like most of it isn't that good for you. It's stupid.

After last nights dinner I really appreciated cooking more. I actually started to like it...I think. I mean, don't get me wrong, I like going on. But I feel way more comfortable in my own kitchen. I KNOW what I am cooking. I see it. I touch it. I know exactly what is going in my body.

Did I just admit that I kind of liked cooking?! I'd blame it on the wine but I haven't had any since I started this whole lifestyle change. Oddly enough I am totally okay with that. I thought for sure I'd want a glass of wine after the awful day I had yesterday...or even after today because today isn't going so well either. But I don't. I'd rather grab a yogurt and a cup of coffee and just chill out while watching my DVR'd shows. In fact, I will probably do that...but later. I have to finish cleaning my house and get my stuff ready for tomorrows wedding. Oh and Kegan's soccer game and soccer photos tomorrow. Busy busy busy.

But for the next 15 minutes I am going to sit & finish watching the rest of Sex & the City and drink my coffee.

This photo also has ZERO to do with my blog post besides the fact that it is me & I like it.

My 1st weigh in!

It's officially been a week since I started working out & eating healthy. Since I started my "Lifestyle Change". A week of change. The only consistent on my life right now is my coffee which I consume daily. Only two days at Caribou which is quite the change from my more 6 days a week. I did however on my last trip there try the "Lite" version of my drink and honestly, I couldn't taste a difference. I know I said I wasn't going to go all crazy and get skinny thin drinks but if it is still MY drink with just less calories AND tastes the same I am doing it. Call me a liar, it's okay. I totally did lie.

When I look in the mirror I still see the same body I saw a week ago. I don't see a difference at all. I feel different. Different = Pain. Working out makes your whole body hurt, I knew that, but I forgot how much. And again, there is no such thing as a good hurt. There just isn't. Hurting on purpose is down right ridiculous but sadly necessary to achieve the results I want.  There isn't much hunger like people said there would be. I still eat 3 meals (well 2 sometimes because I tend to forget breakfast unless you count coffee). I still snack. I don't let myself feel hungry. If you are dieting and you feel hungry, you are doing it wrong.

I workout daily. I workout at the gym most days and at home almost every day. When I am at the gym I run and it sucks. I am getting better though. Every time I run I feel better than the time before. I still hate it. I have no love for running. Maybe one day I will be able to get along with running. I tend to say not nice things about her & curse her more often than not.

For the results!!! I started at 129.8. Not a bad weight but not a weight I felt comfortable with. I already said I don't have a goal but I just want to be healthy.

127.2! That means in the last week I lost 2.6 pounds. That is crazy business right there. I am excied about it but I have to remind myself this is NORMAL in the beginning and this isn't something I will see every week. I want to gain muscle too so in reality I don't want to lose this much every week. I don't want to be skin & bones. That isn't hot.

I can see a difference in my body when I see the photos.

I debated even doing photos. But who am I kidding. I take pictures of everything else. Why wouldn't I take photos of this? I'm glad I did. Like I said before, I don't see a difference when I look in the mirror at myself but I do see a difference in the photos. These photos motivate me to do better. To work harder and be better.

So here is to another week!

Coffee Talk - My thoughts so far

 

I wouldn't call what I am doing a diet. I hate the word diet. It has such bad connotations. I would call it a "lifestyle change" because that is what it is really.  There is nothing wrong with eating healthier and working out. Right now I have cut out most everything that isn't healthy. Not forever of course because this girl couldn't live without pizza, nachos and beer. Yum, beer. Just not right now. The only unhealthy thing I am doing, is my coffee. Life isn't worth living if I can't have my coffee. Okay, so that is a joke...kind of. Okay, so not really. I love coffee. I am cutting back I guess. Instead of 4, 5...6 trips to Caribou a week. I go 1 or 2 times. And instead of getting a large, I get a medium. But I am not getting a skim skinny thin coffee. I am getting what I always get. White Chocolate Turtle Mocha and not feeling guilty at all. I still drink my Caribou Kcups at home. Here's to cup #3 for the day.

So back to the change. Lifestyle change just sounds better. Kyle mentioned to a few people that we are on a diet. It just made my stomach hurt when he said that. People look at me & say "She is thin, she doesn't need to be a on a diet." They are right. I don't need to be on a diet. I need a change. I need to change my bad eating habits.

For the first couple of weeks I am  eating really healthy. Getting adjusted to this new lifestyle. Forcing myself to cook. Forcing myself to try new things. I don't have any junk food in the house besides the candy from last Halloween, Christmas, Valentines Day...ect. Thankfully most of the candy in there isn't chocolate or gummy bears. I don't know if I could resist knowing that there is gummy bears in my house that aren't being eaten. lol It also sounds like we have a lot of candy in the house. We don't. I slowly throw candy out. We don't eat that much. A few pieces a week for the kids. Rarely anything for myself or Kyle.

Before I started this I was so confused on what I could & couldn't eat. I hear people all the time saying "I am on a diet and I am so hungry." That sounds pretty awful. I love eating and I don't want to be hungry all the time. While I am still trying to figure this change all out I knew that there are still yummy things that you can eat.  Anyone who knows me knows I snack like it is my job. I could live each day snacking all day. Thankfully the more I read about getting healthy the more it says to snack. HELL YES! Oddly enough a lot of things I snack on are things I can still snack on. Fruits, veggies, nuts, string cheese, yogurt...ect. Some stuff I changed. Instead of chips and queso dip I switched to wheat crackers and Laughing Cow Cheese. That stuff is legit. I could just eat the wedge without any crackers. Instead of putting cheese on my broccoli I just eat it plain. I have no issues with that. I love raw broccoli. In fact, most of my veggies I love raw which makes for a super quick and easy snack!

Unfortunately, I can't snack all day. I need to make meals. So I have been. Nothing super fancy but those Chicken Fajita Quesadilla's are killer and probably the "fanciest" thing I currently make. Right now I have Pot Roast in the crock pot. I searched the internet for an easy yet healthier version than I have made in the past. Nothing with random packets of things. I combined a few different recipes and we'll see how it tastes tonight. Everything I have read says to be creative with your cooking and that you don't always have to follow a recipe. So that is what I am trying to do. Not sure that is the best idea since I barely know how to cook to begin with. But hey, I get points for trying right?!

Besides the big change in food, there is also the workout portion. I hate working out. It's not fun. Although, my running has improved dramatically since I started. I still hate it, but I don't want to kick the machine when I am done. One thing I do want to kick, the yoga ball. Kyle is forcing me to do sit ups on one. It's hell. My core hurts. Laughing hurts. Talking hurts. Sitting still hurts. My core just hurts. Everyone's all like "It's a good hurt." Um no. There is no such thing as a "good hurt". It effing hurts and I'd rather not feel like someone played guitar with my stomach muscles. No thanks. Oh & let's not forget to mention how much my arms hurt. Kyle showed me some things I can do with free weights. I look ridiculous when I do them but apparently they will give me awesome sexy arms. So I must lift through this awful burning sensation in my arms and the dumb look on my face when I do them.

Overall the food thing is not so bad but the workout part is pretty awful. I will learn to "love" it once I start to see results.

Oh and I am starting the 30 Day Shred too because I am not crazy enough.