I look 5 months pregnant...which clearly I am not. I also bought a scale. I didn't own one. I was scared I'd become to obsessed with what the scale said and fall into some sort of weight depression. But, with the help of Kyle & my amazing friends, I know this won't happen.
When I opened the box & put the scale on the floor I didn't want to step on it. I really didn't want to know what I weighed. But my kids wanted to know what they weighed so first they weighed themselves then begged me to get on.
I have to keep telling myself that it is just a number. I know a lot of girls would kill to be this weight. It's just a number. In all honestly, this is not a number that I am comfortable with. I have spent most of my adult life (besides when I was pregnant) between 105-115 pounds. When I was nursing it was more around 120 but I had giant boobs then. I miss those boobs.
129.8
It's my number...for now.
I am not picking a goal weight because honestly, I don't know what that is. I just want to look good naked...or in a swim suit. I have cute jeans that I want to look good in. I just want to look good and feel comfortable in my clothes. So, I am not picking a number. That number could be 125. It could be 105. I don't know.
Don't worry friends, I am not going to get unhealthy skinny. I am going to be healthy skinny by working out, eating right and drinking my delicious coffee.
Isn't it amazing... We see ourselves in such a negative light. But I think you look amazing and can't even imagine seeing that number on the scale! I hope you get to a place where you feel great about yourself!
ReplyDeleteThanks Beth! I hate feeling this way about myself. I am normally pretty comfortable with how I feel but I have been feeling so unhealthy. My biggest motivator is my family. I want to get healthy for them. Ooo maybe that can be one of my next blog posts!
DeleteGrowing up my dad didn't like having a scale in the house. I can't even remember what age I was when I finally found out my weight because we never stepped on one. Why? Because scales also weigh muscle. So don't go stir crazy over that number. It really is just a number! You have fat and you have muscle. Focus on just turning that fat into muscle and not that number to lower. I know that seems silly because I did pick a goal weight but I really just wanted something to work towards. If I end up gaining more muscle but look better, then I'm happy.
ReplyDeleteThis is why I didn't pick a number but picked clothing mainly that I love & can't fit into anymore. I would be happy with 125 if that is what happens. I would be happy with 105. I am trying NOT to dwell on the number.
DeleteThat's a great goal Kimi, stupid phone erased my other comment. If you ever need encouragement, I'm here for ya. Don't give up. It's amazing what life looks like when you set and follow through with your goals.
ReplyDeleteKimi you have the cutest belly button hands down! Have you tried the myfitnesspal ap? I use it and so does my family... It's really helpful counting calories and motivating !
ReplyDeletelol Thank you for the most random compliment! I am always self conscious about it since I had kids since it used to be so much smaller. It's strange the things we don't like about yourselves.
DeleteI do have that app but I haven't used it yet. Good to know that other people like it! :)
Having a scale isn't amazing. :P I'm 149 right now. I should be 120. It's horrible. I've been eating a looot better the past couple weeks and the number CLIMBED of all things. I was PISSED. I guess I gotta get in on cardio. It's just so freaking cold out and I don't wanna pay for a gym membership (they are ALL too expensive anywhere close). I WILL get back under 130! I WILL, GODDAMNIT.
ReplyDeleteKimi, you are fearless. But you don't look bad so that helps.
ReplyDeleteI think I am in the same range you are as far as body type. lol :)